Here’s a little passage for Arpia vol. 2 (Fight of Eve) I just reworked (when not studying).
Tell me what you think, …
Mbirnsi is a So-laon, and they are a race of telepaths imprisoned by the Constitutor Intelligence Service.
Birgo works for Arpia, and has become pretty much the greatest warrior in the galaxy through training with Masters of many kinds of martial and telepathic arts.
To fully understand though, you need to read vol. 1 and the rest of vol. 2.
And when you see
Aim of the passage:
I was hoping to describe a battle between telepaths that seems alive and isn’t just “two people standing there doing nothing visually” or “this was awesome, believe me!”.
Hopefully, I have achieved this.
As the Total Eclipse approached Earth’s orbit, Birgo felt a presence.
After adjusting the course to the mentioned city, Birgo wondered about this Mbirnsi. The presence had an aura to it. It had felt definite and clear, indicating the telepath was powerful. How powerful?
Bergen had a strange feeling of modesty to it. It was retired from main cities, covered in snow, and it felt cosy. Birgo wondered how such a specific person, apparently wanted by the Yolniun, could live in such a place.
As she stepped out of the Total Eclipse, after being wished "good luck" by all the crew-members, Birgo made her way towards a lone figure waiting in a windy and empty square nearby.
Power emanated from the figure. A man, Birgo noticed as she approached. His long and dark ruffled hair danced in the wind, hiding his eyes from her.
She stopped a few paces in front of him, and he studied her carefully for a good minute.
"I have watched your progress for a long time, and I must admit I am quite satisfied. The prophecies rooted deep in the past are always true."
Birgo had no idea what he was talking about, but something told her it was linked to the "Biri’h’go" whisperings she had heard from the Yolniun.
"You are wise," he said, and Birgo was unsure whether he had been reading her thoughts. "You do know I must resist with all my might, do you not?"
Of course, he had to resist. Linked to the device the Service used to control the So-laon.
She smiled. She was ready, whatever his power.
"Shall we begin?"
Passers-by stopped and stared in wonder as the fight went on. The two telepaths were struggling physically, a few metres apart, never touching each other. It was an almost surreal scene, and soon enough, a crowd had formed around the two silent wrestlers.
On the mental plane, however, it was much more violent. Mbirnsi did not stop attacking, trying to break through Birgo’s defences, not giving her the chance to attack. For a dozen minutes, they mesmerised the crowd so.
Birgo could feel hostility in the space around her. The air was vibrant with So-laon power. Why was it so? Mbirnsi could not possibly be this strong. She was Birgo, and she had defeated all the greatest Masters. Who was this man?
The attacks intensified, and Birgo realised that Mbirnsi was not alone. Something connected all the So-laon, and it seemed So-laon all across the galaxy were sending their thoughts to him. She could feel thousands of different minds joining her opponent.
She felt her knees weaken. She was dropping to the ground.
A phrase formed in her mind, and repeated itself:
It was a voice. It was her voice, but younger. It repeated the sentence ever faster, and Birgo felt her pace quicken simultaneously.
She breathed deeper, and felt a storm brew inside.
She was power. She was it all.
The attacks no longer mattered. Her defences would fall soon, but she didn’t care: she knew what to do.
Birgo gave in to the anger, let it consume her. She lost all sense of self, and in that one instant, she was no more. She reached out far beyond anything she had known before. In this short moment, she touched every point of the universe simultaneously, despite its infinity, in spite of all the laws of physics, contrary to all reason. For a split second, she knew everything, everywhere. Every human in existence. Things she had not been aware of. Other intelligent species. Some hostile, some not. Some advanced, some primitive. The fox from her nightmares.
She regained her senses, and focused her anger on the telepath. The air around her was no longer filled with So-laon weaves. It obeyed her command. It was an extension of her.
Birgo stood up, fire in her eyes. She stretched her arms open wide, and the elements formed a weave like a ball of fire in front of her.
She saw a change in Mbirnsi’s expression. She could hear his thoughts, and he was confused. Was anger supposed to play a part, he asked himself.
Birgo smiled and brought her hands together. The weave went crashing through Mbirnsi’s defences.
The So-laon telepath lost balance and closed his eyes.
"Biri’h’go," he murmured as he fell to the ground.
Her anger receded. Victory was achieved.
Birgo slung Mbirnsi over her shoulder and brought him into the Total Eclipse, escaping the crowd.